Sleep is not a skill (2024)

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Sleep is not a skill

Home » Babies » Sleep is not a skill

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Sleep is not a skill

Sleep is not a skill (7)

How can I teach my baby to sleep?
When will my toddler learn to settle herself?
How can I help my son learn to sleep on his own?
Can I teach my baby to sleep through the night? I have realised there is a common theme to these questions. They are all based on the assumption that a child needs to learn to sleep properly. As if sleep were a skill; like riding a bicycle, or skipping; that can be taught.

Sleep is not a skill

But there is a problem with this assumption. And the problem is not about sleep being challenging to learn, or about the many contradictory ways that a parent can teach their child to sleep. The problem is that sleep is not a skill. It is not something you can teach. Sleep is a biological function. It is something all human beings are pre-programed to do. As well as all animals. Just like, say, digestion.

It is a biological necessity for every human being to sleep, just like it is a biological necessity for every human being to digest their food. And as parents, we don’t think to ask ‘How can I teach my baby to digest?’

When we reach weaning, or teething, or a tummy bug when nappies suddenly look quite different, we don’t panic that they have forgotten how to digest. We don’t plan to go through the process of teaching them all over again. Instead we hold them, we hug them, we rock them, we massage them. We soothe them and reassure them in whatever way we know.

What if we approached sleep in the same way; not as a skill, but a state that parents can support?

Our job is not to teach sleep

It is no more our job to teach our babies to sleep, than it is to teach them to digest. Our job is to merely to help remove or reduce the things that tend to disrupt sleep. Babies can then get on and do what they naturally do.*

The things that tend to disrupt digestion are very similar to the things that tend to disrupt sleep. Stress, illness, teething, worry, fear, emotional upset, pain. In other words, anything that causes levels of adrenaline or cortisol to rise. This is because adrenaline and cortisol are major inhibitors of melatonin; the sleepiness hormone. In adults, just as in children, they stop us being able to fall asleep, or to stay asleep.

Sleep skills for parents

So, instead of thinking of sleep as a skill for babies to learn, instead the skills we need to consider around sleep are our skills in calming our babies. We could ask ourselves, ‘How can I soothe my baby? What techniques can I use to minimise these adrenaline and cortisol levels?’

And for most babies and toddlers this will probably involve their parents being close to them. It might involve holding them, rocking them, or singing to them. They may need extra bedtime stories, a massage at bathtime and the reassuring familiarity of bedtime rhythms and rituals.

In short, the most effective way to ‘teach’ your child to sleep, is to embrace techniques that help your child to feel calm, loved, connected and safe. Biology will do the rest for you.

*N.B. What babies naturally do is not necessarily to ‘sleep through the night’, and there are good reasons for this. For more information on what normal sleep looks like for babies and toddlers, for the science behind infant and toddler sleep, including what can affect sleep, as well as support and evidence-based ideas on how to maximise sleep in safe and helpful ways, then find a BabyCalm sleep workshop near you.​

Alexandra Harris

Recommend0 recommendationsPublished in Babies, Baby sleep, Toddler sleep, Toddlers

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Sleep is not a skill (2024)

FAQs

Is sleep really a skill? ›

Sleeping is a biological function, the same as eating, breathing, procreating, and so on. It is something we are born doing and we can do it without much thought. You don't actively teach your newborn to sleep – they do it on their own and for many hours of the day.

Is falling asleep a learned skill? ›

We don't “learn” to sleep, because it's programmed deep in the brain, but we do “learn” sleep habits. Babies can learn helpful ones, like grabbing their loveys and falling asleep in their cozy cribs in a good sleeping environment, or unhelpful ones, like falling asleep while being nursed or bounced on a yoga ball.

Is sleep a skill or a biological function? ›

Sleep is a physiological process not only for the rest of the body but also for several brain functions such as mood, memory, and consciousness.

Is sleep developmental or taught? ›

It is clear that younger babies sleep longer overall, but there is also a lot of variation among individual babies, and within studies for this group. Sleep is a developmental process, and our sleep needs change throughout our lifetimes.

Do scientists understand sleep? ›

Sleep is important to a number of brain functions, including how nerve cells (neurons) communicate with each other. In fact, your brain and body stay remarkably active while you sleep. Recent findings suggest that sleep plays a housekeeping role that removes toxins in your brain that build up while you are awake.

Is sleep related to IQ? ›

Psychologist Satoshi Kanazawa and Study Magazine pinpointed further by saying that individuals in their 20s with a normal IQ tended to go to sleep at around 12:10 a.m., while those with a lower IQ went to bed at 11:41 p.m. Those labeled “very bright” hit the sack at 12:29 a.m.

Why do we need sleep scientifically? ›

During sleep, your body is working to support healthy brain function and maintain your physical health. In children and teens, sleep also helps support growth and development.

Should I stay up and study or sleep? ›

Scores of studies conclude that students really do better when they sleep. Sleeping poorly (or not at all) leads to worse test results and poorer ability to learn new things. In fact, an all nighter hurts your ability to think, reason, and understand to the same degree as if you were taking your test drunk.

Can your brain absorb information while sleeping? ›

Under the right conditions, it turns out, the sleeping human brain is capable of learning new vocabulary. That's according to a study by scientists from Switzerland's University of Bern, published in the journal Current Biology in January, which demonstrates that the human brain can absorb information during slumber.

Is it okay to sleep all day once in awhile? ›

And while the occasional long sleep is generally nothing to worry about, oversleeping several days a week could be a sign that something more serious is going on.

How long can you go without sleep? ›

It isn't clear how long humans can truly survive without sleep. But it is clear that extreme symptoms can begin in as little as 36 hours. This includes a reduced ability to think, poor decision-making, and speech impairment. Pulling an all-nighter once every couple of months likely won't do any long-term damage.

Why does sleeping feel so good? ›

Sleep helps repair your body.

In waking time, your body goes through the usual wear and tear that exhausts your energy, making you feel tired and depleted. A good night's sleep in a high-quality mattress can relax and repair your body, helping you wake up recharged and refreshed.

Is safe sleep 7 actually safe? ›

If you and your baby meet the requirements in the Safe Sleep Seven checklist, you've already eliminated all the biggest SIDS risks. And if you prepare your bed, then your baby's overall nighttime risk becomes vanishingly small.

Is sleep physical or mental? ›

But sleep affects both mental and physical health. It's vital to your well-being. Of course, sleep helps you feel rested each day. But while you're sleeping, your brain and body don't just shut down.

Are sleep trained babies happier? ›

Your baby figures out their preferred position for sleep, and how to get there on their own. As a result, the baby starts sleeping longer periods of time, and getting more sleep overall. Their confidence in their ability to sleep, and when to do so builds, and they are happy and content in their sleep environment.

Should I pull an all nighter or sleep for 2 hours? ›

Sleeping beyond the minimum 90-minute cycle may mean you fall deeper into your sleep cycle and will find it much harder to wake up. The best answer to this question is that some sleep is always better than none. Trying to get in a power nap or achieving that full 90-minute cycle is better for you than no sleep at all.

Is Sleep Efficiency a real thing? ›

Good sleep efficiency is definitely something worth striving for, and as a metric, it can give you a sense of how well you're sleeping and whether you need to improve your sleep hygiene. However, it doesn't give you a complete picture of your sleep health and is not the end-all, be-all metric.

Why does sleep feel so good? ›

Sleep helps repair your body.

In waking time, your body goes through the usual wear and tear that exhausts your energy, making you feel tired and depleted. A good night's sleep in a high-quality mattress can relax and repair your body, helping you wake up recharged and refreshed.

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